Even Silence Speaks Volumes!

There is never a time when we are not communicating.  We are always tranmitting messages about how we feel, and our thoughts.  Each one of us speaks volumes about ourselves, even when we are being silent, most especially when we are giving someone the "cold-shoulder". 

Experience in ministry, business and mentoring relationships have taught me many useful things that apply to virtually every living human being.  One of the most important pieces of knowledge I have gained is:

Commonality leads to Communication which creates the basis of community

The things that you hold in common with other people lays the foundation for successful conversation and or communication.  Successful communication is the cornerstone of healthy community. 

In fact, consider the time(s) you began to move away from a person with whom you had a relationship of any sort, from the most intimate to the most platonic.  One of the first things that occured was you began to talk less about the things that you either don't hold in common or the things that you no longer have in common. 

How many times have you heard or said something like this,

I need more than just ______________ in my relationship, I need someone to communicate with.

We often use the lack of commonality as the justification for ending a relationship.  

Another challenge I have observed in relationships is that people don't take the time to consider their words and their intent before they speak.  Have you ever had to follow up an earlier statement by saying, "That's not what I mean!" or "What I really meant was..."    It is absolutely essential that we take responsibility for weighing our words before we speak them into life.

Consider one of Osmo Wiio's Laws which says,

If a message can be understood in different ways, it will be understood in just that way which does the most harm.

Given the reality that we do not live in a moral vacuum; most people will interpret your words in ways you didn't intend and likely hadn't considered.  People "hear" what you say based upon their personal context which includes their psychological, physical, emotional, environmental and cultural contexts. 

Remember this Spotts' Maxim:

Every true feeling does not need to be expressed!

Why you may ask?  Simply because feelings are like facts they change with time and new discoveries.   Just remember that true feelings can be expressed through silence as well, because even silence speaks volumes.